Mine Vs. Ours

In New York, the court tries to divide things "fairly" or equitably. Hence, the term equitable distribution.
To do that, you need to categorize everything you own. Start with the big stuff like the house or apartment, bank accounts and retirement accounts.
Marital Property: Anything bought or earned during the marriage. This is usually shared between both people. There are exceptions to this rule. This is the "our" stuff
Separate Property: Anything you owned before you got married, or gifts/inheritances given only to you. This is the “mine” stuff.
You need to make sure you have access to your own money, so you aren't stuck without cash during the legal process.

• New Bank Account: Open an account in just your name at a new bank.
  
• Your Paycheck: Ask your job to send your pay to your new personal account instead of the joint one.
  
• Credit Check: Get a credit report. This is a list that shows every credit card or loan tied to your name. You need to know if your spouse is spending money that you might be held responsible for.
  

Life will look different after a divorce. You need to estimate what your "new life" will cost.

• The Budget: Write down what you think you’ll spend on rent, food, and clothes when you live on your own.
  
• Health Insurance: If you are on your spouse's insurance, you will likely need to find your own once the divorce is over. Look into the costs now.
  

Once a divorce officially starts in NY, there are "Automatic Orders." This means:

• No Hiding Money: You can’t close accounts or move large amounts of cash.
  
• No Selling Stuff: You can’t sell the car or the house without permission.
  
• No Insurance Changes: You can’t take your spouse off your health or life insurance yet.