Bonnie Mohr Jan

1/12/2024 1 Comment

I do or do not want a prenuptial agreement . . . 5 reasons you may want a prenuptial agreement.

The prenuptial agreement is a rule book for you and your spouse in the event your marriage doesn’t work out.

Given the statistics, a prenuptial agreement is a smart move. You can increase your chance of success of a lasting marriage with a marriage counselor and clear communication.

Here are my favorite 5 benefits of a prenuptial agreement.

1. Forces the money conversation with your fiancé.

According to Forbes, 37% of couples divorced due to financial problems. The top contenders were lack of commitment (75%), infidelity or extramarital affairs (60%) and getting married too young (45%). A prenuptial agreement cannot address the top three contenders, but it can certainly assist with the financial problems.

Before you get married, whether or not you sign a prenuptial agreement, you should make sure you are financially on the same page with your fiancé. The prenuptial agreement is an excellent pretense to discuss spending habits, long-term goals and emergency savings if you’re having difficulty discussing these topics. If you are a saver and your fiancé is a spender, marital friction and an ugly divorce is practically guaranteed.

2. Makes you plan for the future in terms of your own money situation.

In negotiating a prenuptial agreement, you’ll need to analyze whether or not, in the event of a divorce, you’ll be able to provide for yourself according to the terms of the prenuptial agreement. For example, if you plan to be a stay-at-home mom, the prenuptial agreement needs to provide you with sufficient assets and payments to get you back on your feet, make up for lost personal savings and make up for lost retirement account savings. By contrast, if you plan on being the breadwinner, you need to make sure you have sufficient income and resources to provide for the stay-at-home parent if that’s the intention and the marriage fails.

3. Makes you plan for the future with your fiancé.

Assuming you and your fiancé want to purchase a home, you need to put a game plan into place to save for the down payment and have enough earnings to pay the monthly mortgage. Now is a good time to have a conversation about where the new home may be located, the budget for the new home, and how to logistically purchase the new home. There will be guaranteed friction if your future spouse wants a grand home and expects you to make solely make it happen for any number of reasons.

4. Can create clarity where the law is less than clear.

The law is clear as mud in certain situations. Any property acquired during the marriage is subject to division between the spouses except in certain situations. With a prenuptial agreement, you can create your own rules as to which property is to be shared and which property is not to be shared. Even if you don’t sign a prenuptial agreement, you really should talk to an attorney.

There are certain ways to protect your assets, such as investment account, or lose your assets, such as an inheritance, if you are not being smart in how you make financial decisions.

5. Should simply the divorce process; which leads to less stress, less legal fees and less confusion.

It’s better to figure out the rules now when there is less at stake. If you wait until the rule application determines who gets what, then each side will want the rule written in his or her favor.

Even if you don’t want a prenuptial agreement, I cannot recommend strongly enough that you consult with an attorney so that you make smart money moves during your marriage just in case . . .

5/21/2020 1 Comment

TIPS FOR WORKING FROM HOME WITH CHILDREN (Yes, it can be done.)

For some of you, this is nothing new. However, for many of you, you are now wearing three hats
– providing services for others (whether clients or an employer), childcare and educator. I’ve
broken the tips into categories, which in some ways overlap. If you are now an educator due to
COVID-19 and you are not an educator by training, be kind to yourself.

Distractions

If you are working from home and you have children, line up your planned and emergency distractions. My preferred emergency distraction is a favorite toy that I squirrel away for when I need to distract the kids. Other emergency distractions include new toys, rotated toys (older toys that have been packed away so they are “new” again) and craft projects. Planned distractions include things like snacks, television time, phone calls with family members and gaming time. Distractions need to be age appropriate. I would mix up the distractions for maximum effect. Younger children have shorter attention spans and you may need to run through a few of your distractions before you find a distraction that sticks so you can get through your phone call or project.

Strategic Planning

You have kids and they need your time. You have clients or an employer and they need your time as well. Let’s face it, there is not enough time for everything. Strategic planning lets you make the most use of your time. Here are some ways to map out your time:

Know when you work best and try to work during those hours.
Wake up before your children. I’ve heard of people getting up as early as 4am so log in a few hours before the children wake up at 6am.
Work after your children go to bed. If you are a night owl, this is ideal.
Schedule as necessary. For some individuals, you may need a rigid schedule. For other individuals, you may need a more flexible schedule.
Plan your work when your child is busy. Examples of busy could be engrossed in homework, naptime or some other activity.
Schedule time for your children. Work time is work time. Kid time is kid time. By focusing on the intended recipient, it is easier to be present with your children and with your work.

Communication & Coordination

Communicate with your children and communicate with your clients. Most clients are very accommodating of children, especially in the days of COVID-19 when working from home is a new normal for most office-type jobs.

Be honest with your clients that you have children. It should be alright if a child occasionally interferes during a phone call or pops into a video conference. If this is not acceptable to your client, it may be time to rethink the relationship.
Be honest with your children. If your child understands, you can tell your child that you are on an important call or conference and ask him or her to wait until the call or conference is finished.
Coordinate with your co-parent. Perhaps you need to identify who is the responsible parent during certain time frames so the other parent can get some work done. This applies regardless of whether or not you and your co-parent live in the same home.
Set expectations with both clients and children. For the client, let them know if you only have a 10-minute window or that they may hear your children in the background. For children, let them know that you need to make a very important phone call and he or she should not interrupt the phone call.
Give your children ways to communicate with you when you are working. While work time is work time, children are still children and they may need to grab your attention. Give you child an acceptable way to grab your attention.
If you have an older child, you may be able to tell them that need to provide some of their own entertainment or complete their own (age-appropriate) tasks.

Time Management

You may not be able to get everything done, but you can get more done in less time if you use your time wisely.

If you are supposed to be working, then actually work. This is not the time to be checking your personal email account, Facebook or YouTube unless the work requires it.
OHIO – Only Handle It Once. This applies to papers and emails. If you can handle it quickly, handle it; if you can delegate it, delegate; if it needs more time, schedule time to work on it later.
Prioritize your to-do list. Know the most important items you need to accomplish and address those items first.
Eat the frog first. If there is something you want to avoid, do it first and get it out of the way. I’ve found that I can work through my to-do list that much faster if I eat the frog first. (If there are two frogs, eat the bigger frog first.)
There are limitless tips out there on how to save time and work more efficiently, please find what works for you and implement those strategies.

Here is a list of online resources that may help with entertaining your children or homework:

Don’t forget to check out your local library for online resources.

In conclusion …

Be present. Regardless of whether you are with your children or working on a project, be present for whatever you are doing. Be creative, flexible and experiment. What work for one child may not work for another. What works one day may not work another.

Special thanks to Moshe Amsel of Profit with Law; panelists Heather Trick Ostroff, Mariana Ruiz, Serena Ryan, Gyi Tsakalakis, Alexis Neely, Michael Whelan, Ariana Sylvester and Theresa Shanley for sharing tips on working from home with children. I’ve recapped what I’ve learned and added a few of my own tips.

Stay healthy!
© 2020 Bonnie Mohr Jan | BMJ Law, PLLC | www.mohresq.com

1 Comment

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